Monday, January 31, 2011

How do you spend your Valentines day?

It was just asked of me, how my husband and I spend our Valentines Day. I do have a couple of rules, but they are not difficult. Let me repeat, they are not difficult.

This was my response to that question:
"Frankly, the rule is, no gas station gifts, you know the last minute ones on the way home.
We have to leave the house and the children, and I don't care if it is on Valentines Day or not, just act like you want to try.
Have been married 13 years, still don't know how I found him, or what I would do without him, but it is really the thought that counts. Except for the gas station fake rose with the fake dew on it. That thought isn't worth a s***."

So, how do you spend your Valentines Day?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Are you kidding me? Principles, teachers, my husband and me.

So, one of my three children is a 2nd grade girl. Yes of course she is cute and funny and fantastic. I do however try to be a realist when it comes to my child. I don't want to be the mother that lives in a fantasy land, has the best child that has ever existed and can do no wrong, and this is how I got into my recent predicament.
At my daughter's parent teacher conferences in October, the teacher seemed happy and pleased with her progress. So, naturally, was I.
I have since started to worry. I got a call from the teacher telling me that she is 12 homework assignments behind and that he is giving her a second chance to finish them. He didn't know she was so behind until he went through her desk. How does a teacher not know this? Anyway I said I hadn't seen those assignments and I will make sure she gets them done right away.
Then I saw the assignments, some had pictures on the back, some had the teachers writing on the back, some were pages I had helped her finish before. When asking my daughter about the homework with stuff on the back she said they were papers from the recycled homework pile that she would use to draw. They weren't unfinished homework, they were doodles.
And then there it was, a stack of 15 or so assignments that the teacher had just corrected and sent home. One math page had 18 questions, 15 out of 18 were marked incorrect.
She wasn't asked to do them again, but marked wrong. Most of the other pages were journal entries which apparently had a total of points per entry. Some entries had 2 sentences and she scored 4 out of 5 points. Some entries had 5 sentences and she scored 2 out of 5 points. Never did any entry have notes from the teacher or things marked or corrected, they just had the score out of 5. Frankly Mike and I didn't even know what "5" was.
To put a final "what the hell?" The teacher spelled her name incorrectly on her homework folder. I am usually not this picky, however her name is Sophia. This teacher has taught her for 5 months and spells her name Sofia. Really?
So, half of the homework wasn't real homework, she obviously isn't learning math and her teacher can't spell her name. Should I be worried?
When talking with the teacher about the problems he said he hadn't looked in his grade book and noticed what was or wasn't turned in, his teaching is just fine, and sometimes he spells phonetically. (that is why he can't spell her name correctly), I wonder if the 2nd graders can spell phonetically on their spelling tests, will the teacher care?

Break down.

So it seems like I am having a weekly breakdown. Frankly, I probably am, soon maybe I will start writing about cooking or a funny childhood story but today is not that day, today is a breakdown day.
So, I decide to have a half humorous, half serious talk with my boss today. I was talking with him about how through my self deprication and need to please everyone in the office, how I end up doing 2 or 3 sets of work, so each and everyone I work with is comfortable and never feel put out or offended, instead of just saying, this is how it should go, get over it.
He proceeds to tell me that I can't be the mom of  the dealership, not everyone is going to love me and doing three sets of work is asinine. He was right. However, when you are a mother, that cares even a bit, when do you stop being a mother? Even to those you work with. My position at works does slightly take on a motherly role making sure those around are doing as they need to be, oh wait, is that motherly role or manager role? Obviously I have a hard time separating the two.
I guess I should be flattered that those around me think I am smart and capable enough to handle extra work or new projects, but also I don't really want a hand in everything.
My boss is the logical argument and I am the emotional argument. So what do I do to prove my point? Start to cry. I know embarrassing. I am and have always been a crier. Don't know how to stop, wish I could.
I even have a good friend that calls me the town crier. Ridiculous I know.
So tomorrow is a new day, no mothering. No emotions, requiring everyone around me to carry their own wait. Mom time is over.

Monday, January 24, 2011

So much for trying...

I have stated previously that I am not a crafter. I admire those who are, am jealous of their talents. I however tend to purchase all the necessary items, (because although I am not a crafter, I am a shopper) and then they sit in my home office for the next 4 or 5 years. I know I am not alone in this, but recently I have been reminded of my place in this world.
I go to church every Sunday. This is where I see many great and sweet ladies that I otherwise don't socialize with. This is only because, I work, I am tired and my social network is with those I work with. Any way, some of these ladies of whom I have longed to be friends with in the past, invited me to get together and make this certain craft with them. They had told me they were meeting up in 3 weeks and I thought, I can take the day off of work and spend time with these women. So the morning of the "BIG" craft day comes around and I am called into work. Apparently for this special day, these ladies had someone from another state in town to teach us this new trendy application.
Back to work, so I was called into work that morning. Just after the craft day was to commence I receive a phone call from the lady that invited me and she is wondering where I am. I tell her of my call into work and she says to me. "Now what are we supposed to do?" I go on to tell her that I already paid for my supplies and that they can continue without me, not to worry. She lets me know that some of the ladies attending can help out and make my item for me, I then tell her that was not necessary, but she insisted. Thinking to myself that I let my newest invite to the homemakers social circle down, and that it was immediately squashed because of my work schedule, I started to feel a little guilty about not attending.
Next day while attending church a different women which had attended the "BIG" craft day, says to me while laughing, "Oh, I get it, it would be nice to not have to show up and have everyone else finish my work for me too." I was a little taken back and go on to explain that I had to work and informed those involved that "helping" me was not necessary.
Thus, that will probably be my last attempt to fit in with the crafty, perfect mother crowd.
Why is it that we have to get our "digs" in whenever we can? I am also at fault of this, however I would never try to make someone feel bad to their face.I guess that doesn't make it any better, but I did earn quite a bit extra money filling in at work that day, so I guess not all is lost.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Where do we go from here? Thrown a fit lately?

Now as most of you working mothers know. It is all about the scheduling. But, I guess my question is, do you have to schedule doing nothing? For instance get home at 6, dinner at 7, spend time with kids, 8:30 put kids in bed, 9-10 zone out and do nothing.
I guess that is how that would work.

Do you schedule your scheduling time or just let it happen when it happens. Working away from home it is hard to just let things happen, because, frankly if they aren't on the schedule, they never do.

Another exciting topic I have for today is, I am crazy.

Yes, not exaggerating.
My husband works out of town. He gets home around 10 PM on Friday nights and leaves again on Sunday night around 8:30. That is Dad's time with the fam. Unfortunately, I work on Saturdays, so Dads time with the fam is minus Mom for half of the time.
So, recently I have told hubby that he cannot make it harder on me when he is home. For example, I am very, very tired at the end of the week. If he comes home and turns the house into a war zone over the weekend, especially while I am at work and then he leaves on Sunday night, well Monday is hell for me. And then, self absorbed me, is mad at him for creating more work by coming home.
So, this last weekend, he was home, played with the kids, did a load of laundry, then on Monday when I finally made it up to the laundry room and kids rooms, there it was. A complete war zone in every room and huge separated stacks of laundry, out of the hampers, on the floor. Dad was sorting them and never got back to washing them.
I was insane, kids couldn't have dinner until rooms were done, I cursed my hubby under my breath and left him a message that he couldn't return home this weekend. I know, stupid, a full blown fit. I threw a fit.

Nevertheless I did call him on my lunch hour today and told him that it would be OK for him to return home and that I was done throwing my fit. Luckily he laughed at me and told me it was OK.

I am starting a habit of one fit a week and wonder if there is anyone out there with me. Anyone?

Monday, January 17, 2011

Day off!!!

Now, I am sure that there are many working moms that get the day off, get everything done, and catch up on their week.
I, however am not one of those moms. I do have dreams of washing my blinds, mopping my floors and getting caught up, but reality is somewhat different.

I am today, my one day off, while the children are in school, blogging, watching "The Tudors" reruns and getting familiar with the social networks.  Frankly some times it is all about me.

So at work my very smart, young and sometimes ill managed boss, doesn' t allow access to blogs, twitter, facebook, or personal email. So, my day off has been controlled by the internet.

Reporting from last week: At the end of last week I was off to my 9 yr old's Geography Bee. He did great! Although I was only allowed to see rounds 1-3 ( I was on my lunch break ). He was beaming. When I got home later that night however, he was over it. He wanted no praise and frankly at this point I was interrupting his evening. OK....well there goes my attempt at mothering.

Monday, January 10, 2011

What is with the Toy Parties?

Yes, I understand working from home. Believe me I get the need for supporting your family and having time with the kids.
But, sex toy parties, really? As much as some want to be Carrie or Samantha, are there not better at-home party options?
Can we say UNCOMFORTABLE?
I am sure that there are many that enjoy these parties. I however am not one of them.
I may have a lot to learn, but not in front of 16 of my closest friends.

Entrance back into society!

Well, so here it is. I have left the "social" word for over a year now....unplugged ( so to speak ). And now I am back. I will try to share my experiences, failures mostly, and my triumphs. I am what I would call a single married woman. My husband works out of town 5 1/2 days out of each week. Though I adore him, it absolutely sucks.

I am a working mother of three.
I lack all crafting skills.
Have no desire to take pictures.
Enjoy business and politics.
I do appreciate those mothers that have these talents, I however do not. And am learning to accept my domestic failures.

Looking for those that can relate, can't relate, and possibly bake.
Where and what do working mothers in rural areas do?
I am friends with mostly men. but have a few girlfriends that accept me for all that I am.

Looking forward to meeting and talking with you all!