Lesson # 2: It is the little things that Matter.

As a church goer, I have my own struggles with what kind of mother and woman I should be. Where do I fit in? I think that most of us go through similar issues, and I don't know that  I have an answer yet.
However, I was thinking of the lessons that the holidays have taught me. So lesson number 2 is as follows.

Despite the fact that I am not crafty, I do not have play dates, I work full time and go to school at night. I enjoy hanging with my husband more than girls night out. This can, at times, lead to a lonely existence as a mother.

As I started into the holiday season, I started to wonder how I can  be aware and help those around me. As I am not the mother that will make pre-made cookie jars, or wrap a ribbon around a candle with a holiday poem, but I am someone who cares about others. I do want to help and assist anywhere I can.

Lesson #2 Make consistent and deliberate attempts.

I learned that the effort of saying hello, smiling to someone new, letting others know I am there for them, stopping by to say hi, this is enough. As long as my intent is pure, my acts are deliberate and I consistently try, I can influence the lives of those around me for the better, even without a red ribbon and poem attached to the candle.

As I write this down, I want you all to know, how much I love and care for you. How much I appreciate your words. Merry Christmas! 

Does it help to be a woman in your current job?

When I was hired in my current position, I was told my employer liked to have a woman in that office. They aren't hiring only women however, if they found one they liked, they preferred a woman to a man. That is OK with me. That is an honest answer, and when we live in such a politically correct world, I respect the honesty.
Let me make one thing clear, my current employers are smart, they wouldn't hire a woman just for the sake of hiring a woman in this office, but it does influence who they decide to hire.

So, I was on the phone yesterday with a gentlemen who I do some computer and social media work for. He has an upcoming project that will require an account manager, something someone can do from home, but it helps that the person is happy, sweet, smart & preferably a woman, because it "disarms"  the customers.

The question is, are you  offended to be hired partially on your gender? Some women may be offended. They may only want to be considered on their merits, however, does the fact that women are more disarming than men count as part of your "merits". Obviously with my previous statements I am not in any way offended by this concept. Judgements are made, if you like it or not, especially when the customer can only hear you, and not see you. (phone accounts, etc.)

My personality works well for me. It always has and it opens doors. I saw a bumper sticker once that said "Well behaved women, seldom make history."  Maybe, I won't be front page on the New York times for being pleasant, happy and understanding of my customers, but I will be a top producer for my company, because I am nice and people like me. Simple as that.

Break down.

So it seems like I am having a weekly breakdown. Frankly, I probably am, soon maybe I will start writing about cooking or a funny childhood story but today is not that day, today is a breakdown day.
So, I decide to have a half humorous, half serious talk with my boss today. I was talking with him about how through my self deprication and need to please everyone in the office, how I end up doing 2 or 3 sets of work, so each and everyone I work with is comfortable and never feel put out or offended, instead of just saying, this is how it should go, get over it.
He proceeds to tell me that I can't be the mom of  the dealership, not everyone is going to love me and doing three sets of work is asinine. He was right. However, when you are a mother, that cares even a bit, when do you stop being a mother? Even to those you work with. My position at works does slightly take on a motherly role making sure those around are doing as they need to be, oh wait, is that motherly role or manager role? Obviously I have a hard time separating the two.
I guess I should be flattered that those around me think I am smart and capable enough to handle extra work or new projects, but also I don't really want a hand in everything.
My boss is the logical argument and I am the emotional argument. So what do I do to prove my point? Start to cry. I know embarrassing. I am and have always been a crier. Don't know how to stop, wish I could.
I even have a good friend that calls me the town crier. Ridiculous I know.
So tomorrow is a new day, no mothering. No emotions, requiring everyone around me to carry their own wait. Mom time is over.