B.A.U.A.C.P.W.L.C (no really you need to read)

Many days I wonder where my children came from. Often people will suggest that they are a mix between Mike and I. Maybe so, but I also know that they come with special, quirky personalities all of their own.

Case in point:
My 10 year old daughter is a weirdo. She is beautiful, smart, does a mean robot, and totally in her own world. She wants to be a baker. Yes, I know, nothing sounds quirky or weird about it except she has been developing her own business plan, ON HER OWN. Today she brought me an application that she made for her potential employees.
Let's get started.
The name of her company is B.A.U.A.C.P.W.L.C. which of course stands for "Bakery Association of Underestimated Amazingly Cool People Who Love Chocolate"....obviously.

If any of you reading this, want to apply they will have to complete the following application. Lets get started.

1. Do you want to join the B.A.U.A.C.P.W.L.C?
2. Are you fit to be a baker?
   a) YES
   b) NO :(
   c) Maybe So
   d) I really don't know
3. Are you an underestimated cool person? Why?
4. Do you LOVE chocolate?
   a) YES!!! How dare you even ask!
   b) yah it's ok I guess
   c) No! Never!
5. Can you complete this application?
6. Are you good with computers?
7. Are you great on the phone?
8. Do you have any recipes you want to share?
9. Do you like making friends?
   a) Yes I love everyone
   b) Eh...ok
   c) I HATE THE WORLD! NO!
10. Are you good at cleaning up your space when you are done? Rate yourself 1-10
11. Are you good with the business, economy, money, etc?
12. What mood are you in today? Draw  :) if happy,  :(  if sad,  :<< if frustrated, and ? if none of the options fit you.
13. You are almost done. I want you to draw a picture of anything you want. Just make it good. (the best)


So really, I may have had a little influence on my daughter's personality but the above exercise was all her.
I think she is ready for her new business.

I did it for a girl.

I have an eleven year old boy. He struggles with his weight. He is 5'6", 170 lbs, size 11 men's shoe and just finished the 5th grade. I have tried not to make him feel self conscious, but we do try to limit mindless snacking and my husband and I have been waking early with him to do workouts, bike rides, "Just Dance 2", whatever we feel like doing to get some exercise. Shamefully I must say that sometimes he wakes himself and works out on his own when I am too tired to move. So, before we started this regimen every morning, we were doing it occasionally (we now are more diligent). But, one morning I woke to what sounded like elephants in the living room. My 11 yr old was dancing away to "Rasputin". Note: I had not heard this song until the Just Dance video game provided it as one of the selections. The song is disco and sings words to the effect of "Ra-Ra-Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen, there was a cat that really was gone. Ra-Ra-Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine, it was a shame how he carried on..." I know, so wrong, yet so right.
Back to the story, so there he is dancing his little heart out. I smile at him and start breakfast. Later that day after school, my son tells me that he has decided to work out for "personal reasons". But he also gives me look like he would like to tell me more. So, I ask him what "personal reasons" means and he states to me that he can tell me when his father, little sister and little brother are out of the room. I then ask them to leave.
Once we were alone my son says that he "did it for a girl". He wanted to work out for a girl. I ask him if she knows he likes her. He tells me that he told her after school that he "likes, likes her". I asked what she said back and he said that she said "thanks",  he said "but in a nice way, not like a snotty thanks".
So, he has decided to turn himself into a workout fool, dancing to tale of Rasputin, for the love of his life that he intends to play Magic cards with later.
To be 11again. 

Modesty is a virtue.

I have a 7 year old daughter. And in spite of my efforts, she has remained modest and aware of her body. Why should this matter? Well frankly, I am impressed.
Today's dolls & media show our children that people with giant eyes, an even larger head, and minimal clothing are the most attractive of the bunch.
Good news for troll dolls, but alter to nature for the rest of us.
To the story: This morning while getting my 7 year old ready for sh-ool (as Megamind would say) (no comments), anyway, this morning my daughter had to get ready for the school trip to the indoor water park.
My daughter has a cute tankini, with stylish belt included, is in her drawer, ready to wear. She also has another one piece suit that is equally cute but is nowhere to be found.
Commence argument. 
She does not want to wear the suit that shows a little of her stomach, because, it shows a little of her stomach. (in case you missed that). I however the shining beacon on Motherdom tell her not to worry, the suit is too cute, and she should love what she is wearing.
Really, I did that, I know. I don't need your judgement right now.
Finally my daughter had shamed me, by her example, to understand she is right. At 7 she is purer & smarter than me.
So, I searched and searched for the other swimsuit, the one that covered her entire body. The one that shamed her mother into the hoochi hall of fame.
Why do I care if she is the trendiest when it asks her to give some of her values up. Do I care more about being cute than letting her be happy and comfortable, unfortunately, the answer sometimes is yes. And to that, my dear Sophia, I am sorry. I love you. Thank you for showing me the way.

Relationships, family & balance.

As every mother knows, the art of balance is tough to master. But, as a mother, it is essential. Working, stay at home, step mother, who ever you may be to your family, balancing love, time, food, your checkbook, all without being committed to an asylum, is hard.
Now I am a huge believer in schedules, and lists, and organization and everything you have heard before, but today I was thinking more about balancing relationships. Not so much the tangible items in your life, but more of the intangible.
I don't have a lot of close friends. I am fun and outgoing, but I find it hard to fully nurture many friendships, my marriage and the relationships with my children. Usually finding myself an "all or nothing" person. If I can't fully commit to a relationship of any kind, then I back away from it entirely.
I know that this description sounds harsh, I am not asking others to be perfect or a certain kind of person, but internally, if I feel like I don't have the heart or energy to fully commit, I back away.
Yes, there are those on the outside that we say "hi" to at the store, or on Facebook. Those that we pass in church and smile at, but know nothing really about them personally. Then there are those, that will call when you are sick, can predict how you will react, and those that really "get" you. I find myself lately realizing that a friend of mine that I thought was the committed friend, is going to end up being a peripheral friend. Those that you say "hi" to at the grocery store.
Because I don't usually fully commit to friendships, the moment I did, it broke my heart. The problem is, I have realized this before it has even crossed her mind. I don't know that she is aware of where this friendship is heading, there have been no harsh words, just some actions that have become clear about where I stand with her and what she is willing to do, or not do as a friend.
So, where do I go? Do I just have superficial "hi" friends from this point forward? My work relationships, marriage and family take most of my effort. Should I not expect so much of others in the future?
I understand this is not the typical mommy blog, I am not writing about rainbows and buttercups, but these are things of everyday, my bad music at work, my children drawing on their stomachs, my friends breast dropping down her torso, these are the stories of life.  And today with heavy thoughts, the question is should I expect less of those around me?
I wanted to marry into the mob when I was a little girl. I know, heavy drama. I had a pretend boyfriend named Todd and wanted to marry into the mob. But, in the middle of the pretend drama, there was a little of my psyche there. I think I wanted the mafioso family. The friends that were your family and the family that were your friends. Those you expected complete loyalty from and if the loyalty faltered, they were capped. Is that too much? Like I said, one always for the dramatic.
How do you do it? Don't worry, I just ordered a book on optimism from amazon.com.