Modesty is a virtue.

I have a 7 year old daughter. And in spite of my efforts, she has remained modest and aware of her body. Why should this matter? Well frankly, I am impressed.
Today's dolls & media show our children that people with giant eyes, an even larger head, and minimal clothing are the most attractive of the bunch.
Good news for troll dolls, but alter to nature for the rest of us.
To the story: This morning while getting my 7 year old ready for sh-ool (as Megamind would say) (no comments), anyway, this morning my daughter had to get ready for the school trip to the indoor water park.
My daughter has a cute tankini, with stylish belt included, is in her drawer, ready to wear. She also has another one piece suit that is equally cute but is nowhere to be found.
Commence argument. 
She does not want to wear the suit that shows a little of her stomach, because, it shows a little of her stomach. (in case you missed that). I however the shining beacon on Motherdom tell her not to worry, the suit is too cute, and she should love what she is wearing.
Really, I did that, I know. I don't need your judgement right now.
Finally my daughter had shamed me, by her example, to understand she is right. At 7 she is purer & smarter than me.
So, I searched and searched for the other swimsuit, the one that covered her entire body. The one that shamed her mother into the hoochi hall of fame.
Why do I care if she is the trendiest when it asks her to give some of her values up. Do I care more about being cute than letting her be happy and comfortable, unfortunately, the answer sometimes is yes. And to that, my dear Sophia, I am sorry. I love you. Thank you for showing me the way.

Hare Krishna Festival of colors of 2011

What a fun time we had. Family and I are in Utah visiting extended family and doing some work stuff. My beautiful cousin called and had a fun activity for us to do together. The Hare Krishna Festival. No, we weren't required to chant, although the mixtures of rock music and chanting were interesting. There were thousands of attendees covered in multi color chalk, dancing, singing.
But, the most fun was to see my own children unwind. Making friends with other chalk colors.

OK I will explain. The festival celebrates the triumph of good over bad with music, chanting and dancing.
"It's a festival of love where people can come and love each other face to face and that's why it's so popular," said festival coordinator Charu Das.

Every two hours, there is a countdown where everyone, when reaching that all so common, 3,2,1.....throw all colors of chalk  in the air. People are cheering and dancing. The cloud of chalk is like a rainbow dream. There was no drinking, which to some would be a disappointment, but with thousands in attendance, we were still able to bring our children.

We purchased our chalk in the pavilion, we did not get to pick our colors, so we had two different pinks, and yellow to throw in the air and at each other. Unfortunately, everything I do needs to be pretty, although pretty is relative when you are trotting around in the mud and covered in chalk, but you could be prettier and have the "right" colors thrown on you. So what did I do, I collected colors. Those walking by that had green, purple or orange, I would throw my chalk on them and they would reciprocate. So there I am, eyeing each passerby to ascertain their "color". Only I can take a festival of happiness and joy and turn it into a sting operation. Nevertheless this was such a fun day to spend with the family. Enjoy the pictures...

Sleeping my way to ruin.

As a working mother, there is always some running, running, running. I however have been more like crawling, crawling, crawling, lately. I get plenty of sleep but cannot seem to wake up refreshed or just wake up without wanting to kill someone. I am sooooo tired.
Skip to last night. Work, off at 6, check, dinner with two elderly friends 6-7:15, check, pack bags and off to overnight sleep study, check, Check-in at 9 PM. Once I finally arrive at the sleep center, I am escorted to my room. I stopped and got a trashy tabloid magazine to read before bed or while I was waiting, but I didn't have to wait long. Once the tech came into my room they attached what seemed like 20 or so electrodes to my head, neck, collar bone and ankles. Yes, I am glad you asked, it was terribly comfortable. Then they gather the wires toward the back of your head, like some sort of wiring harness, strap three bands around your chest and waist and say goodnight.

What the hell. It is hard enough to sleep well on a great night, much less dressed like John Cusack in Sixteen Candles. Not only do you have to fall asleep to have a sleep study conducted, which my previous reference proves, was ridiculous, you have to stay asleep without turning too much that you pull the wires out of your nifty battery pack thingy.

"It's morning" I hear in a cheerful voice as I am awoken at 5 AM the next morning by the sleep tech. It was time to get up and head home.
Ok, to refresh, sleep with a commodore 64 strapped to your head, awake at 5 AM without wanting to injure any of the staff. This sounds like a great introduction to sleeping disorders and therapy. I can't wait to see what is next. I will keep you informed.

Relationships, family & balance.

As every mother knows, the art of balance is tough to master. But, as a mother, it is essential. Working, stay at home, step mother, who ever you may be to your family, balancing love, time, food, your checkbook, all without being committed to an asylum, is hard.
Now I am a huge believer in schedules, and lists, and organization and everything you have heard before, but today I was thinking more about balancing relationships. Not so much the tangible items in your life, but more of the intangible.
I don't have a lot of close friends. I am fun and outgoing, but I find it hard to fully nurture many friendships, my marriage and the relationships with my children. Usually finding myself an "all or nothing" person. If I can't fully commit to a relationship of any kind, then I back away from it entirely.
I know that this description sounds harsh, I am not asking others to be perfect or a certain kind of person, but internally, if I feel like I don't have the heart or energy to fully commit, I back away.
Yes, there are those on the outside that we say "hi" to at the store, or on Facebook. Those that we pass in church and smile at, but know nothing really about them personally. Then there are those, that will call when you are sick, can predict how you will react, and those that really "get" you. I find myself lately realizing that a friend of mine that I thought was the committed friend, is going to end up being a peripheral friend. Those that you say "hi" to at the grocery store.
Because I don't usually fully commit to friendships, the moment I did, it broke my heart. The problem is, I have realized this before it has even crossed her mind. I don't know that she is aware of where this friendship is heading, there have been no harsh words, just some actions that have become clear about where I stand with her and what she is willing to do, or not do as a friend.
So, where do I go? Do I just have superficial "hi" friends from this point forward? My work relationships, marriage and family take most of my effort. Should I not expect so much of others in the future?
I understand this is not the typical mommy blog, I am not writing about rainbows and buttercups, but these are things of everyday, my bad music at work, my children drawing on their stomachs, my friends breast dropping down her torso, these are the stories of life.  And today with heavy thoughts, the question is should I expect less of those around me?
I wanted to marry into the mob when I was a little girl. I know, heavy drama. I had a pretend boyfriend named Todd and wanted to marry into the mob. But, in the middle of the pretend drama, there was a little of my psyche there. I think I wanted the mafioso family. The friends that were your family and the family that were your friends. Those you expected complete loyalty from and if the loyalty faltered, they were capped. Is that too much? Like I said, one always for the dramatic.
How do you do it? Don't worry, I just ordered a book on optimism from amazon.com.

The beautiful tapestry we call elevator music.

"I need you now....more than words can say, I need you now, gotta to find a way.....I need you now, before I lose my mind, I need you now.... "

That is the song playing over the speakers at the dealership. Our manager has a "no country music" policy. This would sound logical except that we live in MONTANA.

So, we get to travel the channels of XM each day to break up the week. Today is apparently love songs. There is a difference in songs about love and 1970's love songs, which will in fact drive me to suicide, not so much into the arms of love.

Next on the docket is Maroon 5, then Jewel, both of which I can get behind, then some 70's crap, earlier they played King Tut, by Steve Martin.
Really, do these music channels have an agenda? Do they want to drive the everyday worker to start working efficiently, work a little faster, dream of the hundreds of ways to kill themselves, then put the worker to sleep? What the hell kind of work day is that? Oh and lest we not forget, the finale, Cherry Pie, really, Warrant?
Time to go home.

WTF?

This was what my daughter did tonight when left to her own devices and markers. Really, there is nothing else to say.

Does it help to be a woman in your current job?

When I was hired in my current position, I was told my employer liked to have a woman in that office. They aren't hiring only women however, if they found one they liked, they preferred a woman to a man. That is OK with me. That is an honest answer, and when we live in such a politically correct world, I respect the honesty.
Let me make one thing clear, my current employers are smart, they wouldn't hire a woman just for the sake of hiring a woman in this office, but it does influence who they decide to hire.

So, I was on the phone yesterday with a gentlemen who I do some computer and social media work for. He has an upcoming project that will require an account manager, something someone can do from home, but it helps that the person is happy, sweet, smart & preferably a woman, because it "disarms"  the customers.

The question is, are you  offended to be hired partially on your gender? Some women may be offended. They may only want to be considered on their merits, however, does the fact that women are more disarming than men count as part of your "merits". Obviously with my previous statements I am not in any way offended by this concept. Judgements are made, if you like it or not, especially when the customer can only hear you, and not see you. (phone accounts, etc.)

My personality works well for me. It always has and it opens doors. I saw a bumper sticker once that said "Well behaved women, seldom make history."  Maybe, I won't be front page on the New York times for being pleasant, happy and understanding of my customers, but I will be a top producer for my company, because I am nice and people like me. Simple as that.